The trend to write your own wedding vows is increasingly popular. This can be such a beautiful way to be vulnerable with your partner, surrounded by loved ones. You will never get another feeling like it. It is two days away from my wedding and I thought it appropriate to share my vow writing tips with you.
CHECK IN WITH YOUR PARTNER
Be sure that you are both comfortable with the plan. Are you both good with writing your own wedding vows? Do you want to write vows together, both reciting identical versions or write separate vows in secret? Every couple of weeks, make sure you’re both doing okay with the decided plan.
PLAN THE LENGTH
Make a goal with your partner on how many pages or paragraphs feels just right. It could be awkward to say your vows at the wedding within 30 seconds and be followed by your partner saying theirs in 5 minutes. Make a ballpark estimate to get started.
MAKE SOME LISTS
Lists can help you get those creative juices flowing, forming connections of what you’d like to say. Here are some lists that I used, only putting 6 items under each topic:
DON’T GET TOO ATTACHED
Remember those lists you made? There is no way you are going to fit everything on the lists into your vows. It’s okay. Also, your initial version isn’t going to be the final. Type out your vows at least one month in advance. Once a week, read what you have put together and make minor changes.
TALK TO YOUR PARTNER
Write your vows as though you’re talking to you sweetheart. After all, that’s how this all ends, right? Take out any “fluff” that fills the guests in on what you’re talking about. Who cares if they don’t get it? The point is to connect with your special someone in the moment.
Your partner already knows the background of how you got where you are today with your relationship. Tell them something new! Take the opportunity to express any feelings that you never have before, but don’t make stuff up to sound good. You’re getting married, remember? Your partner will know if you’re putting on a show.
PRACTICE READING OUT LOUD
Those words will sound so different when spoken aloud. With every revision you make, end your writing session by reading the entire vows out loud to yourself. Does anything sound weird? Take it out! Reading it this way will also help you to feel confident on your big day.