Remember the last time you made a really tough decision and just weren’t sure of the outcome no matter which way you went? Remember when you last took a big risk and still weren’t sure if you had done the right thing?
I am sure at each of those moments you had a group of cheerleaders right at your side cheering you on helping you to validate your decision…. right? We aren’t in high school anymore (or Kansas, Dorothy)… so the answer to this is – not so much.
Going out on a limb and doing your own thing, starting your own business, writing a book is the ultimate test of your faith in YOU and YOUR ability. Any lack of confidence in yourself is going to send you searching for validation and proof that what you are doing is going to work.
Guess what? (and I think you know what I am going to say next) The great pioneers and visionaries ahead of us didn’t have others cheering them along the way either. Most people are very uncomfortable around people who are this passionate and driven. Many visionaries can be social outcasts or may only have a handful of friends. (My friends are typically social friends only, ones in which we have NO business connection – this creates balance for me.)
People who are in need of validation are compensating for a lack of something. This doesn’t mean you are weak or less than deserving, it just means we need to work on self validation rather than external in order for you to truly experience your abundance.
“What the superior (wo)man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.”
Entrepreneurship can be a very lonely path. And anytime I have found myself envious (even if only for 10 seconds) of those who go to work and punch a clock each day, my mentor said it to me best when I was needing some validation, he said, “You don’t get any validation because you don’t need any. No one knows what you do better than you.” TRUE DAT – It can be lonely at the top, but it is truly where my calling is and maybe you belong here as well.
“When you enter a mindset, you enter a new world. In one world–the world of fixed traits–success is about proving you’re smart or talented. Validating yourself. In the other–the world of changing qualities–it’s about stretching yourself to learn something new. Developing yourself.” ― Carol S. Dweck
So to all you visionaries out there… stop looking for external validation, no one is going to go out there and pave the way for you. If you are expecting that to happen you will greatly limit your potential.
And stop discounting you, your time, your talents – because all that effort spent discounting and seeking validation is time better spent towards realizing your dreams. Go forth and be great.